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Limited Mobility? Things I Did During Recovery after Surgery

You know you are on the road to wellness when you get bored while recovering.  You know what the doctor said or what that handout the nurse gave you at the hospital says, but you are a bit tired of stopping yourself from doing things you have always done.  However, it is for your own good, take your time, start off with light tasks and before long you are back to your old self again!  Yep, that's what I said to myself.  I needed to follow instructions, because the last thing I wanted to do was end up back in the hospital again.

I had six weeks to recover before I would be working again and as tempting as it was to be all things to everyone else by week two, I didn't.  My body reminded me as I breathed heavily while wondering what that sharp pain was after standing a bit, "Sit your @ss, down!"  So I listened.  I spent time concentrating more on slow breathing and relaxing.  I didn't fill my head or busy my eyes with entertainment that was only going to do nothing more than add to my stress.  I also stayed away from controversial discussion as much as possible and tried to remain light-hearted.  My room was my safe haven and so I made the most of it.

There was this device called the Cubi.  I decided to use that while I breathed slow breaths.  I also used a floor mat and stretched.  I had found safe exercises for people who had the kind of surgery I had so I proceeded to move my body slowly.  

I watched what I ate.  I didn't allow myself to each too much of anything i.e.) fruits, vegetables, meat, cheese, and a limited amount of chips and desserts.  I made a point to move after a meal and sometimes I simply drank smoothies when I had no desire to eat a complete meal.

As I grew stronger, there were other medical appointments to consider, things I had put off for quite some time.  So I started making those appointments for things like eyes and teeth.  I found that involving myself in others' lives when called upon was helpful.  I knew people needed me so I began to spend less time focused on self and began to drive again.  

Reading was and still is a help.  The nonfiction books were integral especially the Bible during tough times.  Internet surfing on sites I hadn't been on in a long time was like visiting a hometown, so much had changed!  I also noticed what I needed to be done around the house, so instead of taking on those tasks, I delegated responsibilities.  I didn't allow pride to get in the way of needing some help.

Boredom may have showed up a time or two and when it did, I found myself playing board games with my son, conversing with people I hadn't talked to in awhile, and organizing some stuff on my computers and in my room.  I also got certified for an online program I had signed up for.

The best advice I can give anyone who is where I had been, make the best use of your time, by starting off with the small things that you didn't bother to do before your circumstances showed up and changed your life.  I listed daily some of the things I most wanted to accomplish.  I was able to get many done and will do more when I have the free time again.  Now my focus these days is work, I did it!  The doctors were right, take your time, but whatever you do, be mobile whenever you can, eat and socialize healthy!

Nicholl McGuire

Boring Spouse or Partner? What to Do?

That boring spouse or partner you connected with wasn't that way when you first met.  Now you feel like you have been ripped off, sold a bag of false gold, or bamboozled like a victim of a scam.  Who is this boring person?

When you see the truth for what it is in someone, you don't deny, ignore, or beat the person up for it.  The truth is a spouse or partner is boring.  No wonder the last relationship went south and maybe the one before and the one before it (sigh).  Now you are stuck with Ms. or Mr. Boring! (ugh)

1)  Focus on you rather than your partner's boring personality.  What can you do to make life interesting for you?  Sometimes we don't realize it, but we might be boring to others.  Therefore, they grow complacent with our boredom and may only be mirroring what they see in us.

2)  Spend time with the children whether their yours or not.  Children bring life into a boring atmosphere and they have their share of thoughts on how to add spark to a dull environment.  However, don't talk about having a family just because you or your partner is bored.  Having a family for shallow reasons will cause much resentment later and money that you might not be able to invest in parenting  at this time.  Consider this, a boring person, who doesn't change, will still be boring with a family.

3)  Find out what a boring partner likes to do maybe things have changed since you two met. Learn about his or her dream that has yet to be realized.  Think of a way to creatively rebirth or enhance it if it is still achievable.  Whether you buy a small token to show you care or come up with a plan to make it happen, the point is you are trying to learn more about your boring spouse and whether his or her lack of enthusiasm for life has something to do with it.  Who knows, your kind act might spark a little life into that person even if it is short-lived.

4)  Attempt to converse about a favorite television program, something fun you did, or where you plan to go, see if a partner shows any interest.  If not, avoid this kind of conversation in the future.  Instead, talk about how you feel when your partner acts uninterested and be bold in explaining where you think the relationship is headed.  Tell your spouse what you would like for him or her to do to keep you engaged in the relationship.  Watch to see if there are any attempts to make changes in the coming months, if not, you will need to strongly consider therapy.

5)  Invite family or friends via Skype or Zoom to share fun discussion, activities, etc. and ask if your partner would like to join.  Knowing that he or she might not want to be a part of the discussion, at least you invited him or her.  Your kind act just might be remembered and one day your partner might express interest in the future.

6)  Celebrate achievements.  A partner may be boring due to a heavy workload, school, or burdened with other responsibilities, if so, once things are winding down, talk about wanting to do something special for her or him.

7)  Pray.  If you are one of faith, this would be a time for prayer and fasting.  Someone who is not talkative, appears to be disinterested, melancholy, or has something else occurring in one's mind might be undergoing many personal challenges.  Allow the Lord to lead you.  The boredom might really be a person feeling depressed, sick, or something else.  Discuss what you have been observing and encourage this person to make an appointment for a check up or you schedule both your appointments on the same day.  Its always better to play it safe than be sorry later for not doing anything.

Sometimes what we think is someone just being boring is something else going on.  When people have fallen out of love, have personal difficulties, experienced a loss, or other issues, they will not be fun people to be around for days or even years.  Be understanding, patient, and hopeful that this boring time you are in with someone will pass.

Nicholl McGuire is the blog owner and contributor.