When you see the truth for what it is in someone, you don't deny, ignore, or beat the person up for it. The truth is a spouse or partner is boring. No wonder the last relationship went south and maybe the one before and the one before it (sigh). Now you are stuck with Ms. or Mr. Boring! (ugh)
1) Focus on you rather than your partner's boring personality. What can you do to make life interesting for you? Sometimes we don't realize it, but we might be boring to others. Therefore, they grow complacent with our boredom and may only be mirroring what they see in us.
2) Spend time with the children whether their yours or not. Children bring life into a boring atmosphere and they have their share of thoughts on how to add spark to a dull environment. However, don't talk about having a family just because you or your partner is bored. Having a family for shallow reasons will cause much resentment later and money that you might not be able to invest in parenting at this time. Consider this, a boring person, who doesn't change, will still be boring with a family.
3) Find out what a boring partner likes to do maybe things have changed since you two met. Learn about his or her dream that has yet to be realized. Think of a way to creatively rebirth or enhance it if it is still achievable. Whether you buy a small token to show you care or come up with a plan to make it happen, the point is you are trying to learn more about your boring spouse and whether his or her lack of enthusiasm for life has something to do with it. Who knows, your kind act might spark a little life into that person even if it is short-lived.
4) Attempt to converse about a favorite television program, something fun you did, or where you plan to go, see if a partner shows any interest. If not, avoid this kind of conversation in the future. Instead, talk about how you feel when your partner acts uninterested and be bold in explaining where you think the relationship is headed. Tell your spouse what you would like for him or her to do to keep you engaged in the relationship. Watch to see if there are any attempts to make changes in the coming months, if not, you will need to strongly consider therapy.
5) Invite family or friends via Skype or Zoom to share fun discussion, activities, etc. and ask if your partner would like to join. Knowing that he or she might not want to be a part of the discussion, at least you invited him or her. Your kind act just might be remembered and one day your partner might express interest in the future.
6) Celebrate achievements. A partner may be boring due to a heavy workload, school, or burdened with other responsibilities, if so, once things are winding down, talk about wanting to do something special for her or him.
7) Pray. If you are one of faith, this would be a time for prayer and fasting. Someone who is not talkative, appears to be disinterested, melancholy, or has something else occurring in one's mind might be undergoing many personal challenges. Allow the Lord to lead you. The boredom might really be a person feeling depressed, sick, or something else. Discuss what you have been observing and encourage this person to make an appointment for a check up or you schedule both your appointments on the same day. Its always better to play it safe than be sorry later for not doing anything.
Sometimes what we think is someone just being boring is something else going on. When people have fallen out of love, have personal difficulties, experienced a loss, or other issues, they will not be fun people to be around for days or even years. Be understanding, patient, and hopeful that this boring time you are in with someone will pass.
Nicholl McGuire is the blog owner and contributor.
